|The author, Dane F. Baylis|
SOME QUESTIONS THAT SHOULDN'T BE ASKED
UNLESS YOU CAN DEAL WITH THE ANSWERS!
If you've done this long enough none of these will be new. If you're new to the literary thing, and you think you want to participate as a creative figure, you're going to hear them repeated until you want to scream like Edvard Munch's painting. If you don't reach that point then you need a serious ego assessment!
What do you write?
Really? Words. Lots and lots of words. What do you write? Dolphin whistles?
What's your style?
Casual old fart with a short fuse when it comes to inane topics.
Who's your favorite author?
Easy answer - Me. Or, if I take a moment to think about it - Whoever has impressed the hell out of me recently. Which is usually, me.
Do you like genre writing?
Not especially, but I love the word. Genre. After all, it's French. You can ask for directions to the toilet in French and stand a decent chance of getting laid on the way there.
What are your suggestions for new writers?
Find honest employment. There are enough whores in the world now.
Do you like performance art?
Do you feel alcohol or drugs helps your writing?
No. Although the blackouts help negate feelings of inadequacy. In the long run, it just makes dealing with this crap a little more bearable.
Where do you get your ideas?
The idea store. They're having a sale right now. You should check it out.
What's the most enjoyable part of writing?
Finishing. Everything before that is frigging work.
Do you use people you know in your stories?
Only if there's a need for a senseless murder in the first three paragraphs.
Have I read anything you've written?
Uh, what the hell have you read recently? I know, the question with a question thing, but come on.
Don't you just love So-and-So's latest?
Depends. If So-and-So writes obscure esoterica and is doomed to a life of poverty and relative obscurity, then drop him/her a line and have them come over. We can compare notes.
And the topper:
Don't you wish you'd written__________(fill in the blank)?
Meanwhile...live, love, write.
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Dane F. Baylis